Just a quick post for now...
But those are the words my lovely little boy shared with me this morning. He was asking me if he could get married and move away some day. I had said yes, when you are an adult, you can find a nice girl that you want to spend the rest of your life with, and get married and move away.
His response??? Okay, mama, but you have to get married too. Because if I move away you will be all alone.
HONESTLY!!!! Where in the world does a five year old come up with these thoughts???? For now, I am going to lay the blame at the feet of my dad. Although, Matthew says his heart tells him these things.
I say his heart needs to tell him that his mama is very happy with the state of her life (finally!), and it would be perfect should he decide to actually listen/follow directions when I am talking to him. I won't hold my breath for perfection. ;-)
Catch you all later...
23 January, 2008
13 January, 2008
Quote(s) of the Day
Wow, but I find it amazing how quickly some folks have responded to my last posting. And all with words of encouragement. I love you guys!
Please, rest assured that I am not feeling guilty over doing what I have to do to provide for my child, and raise him up to be the best he can be. He really is a wonderful little boy, my pride and joy. He is smart, funny, quick, well spoken, and loves a good round of rough-housing. As I stated to a friend on the phone last night... I just thought it might be time to show the other side of the looking glass. So many of the posts are about the cute things he does and says. And the compliments I receive from others who interact with him in public settings are wonderful. But since I really did want to put my view of things out here, and how that view is affected by Matthew, I thought it would be interesting to share some of the "darker" side in the whole parenting gig.
Now, what really made me laugh was a couple of the quotes that showed up today on my customized Google home page. Timing is such a funny thing sometimes. It really did hit my funny-bone, if you will, to see these quotes, in this order, on this day. It follows up on the thoughts of yesterday as if it were meant to be. Please, allow me to share. (Okay, you really have no choice in the matter of my sharing... other than to stop reading now.)
Few things are more satisfying than seeing your own children have teenagers of their own. - Doug Larson (Check out this site - because there is not a definitive answer to WHO this guy really is.)
You must first have a lot of patience to learn to have patience. - Stanislaw J. Lec, Polish writer (1909 - 1966)
And this last one was not found with the other quotes on my Google home page, but which fits the situation, and wraps things up very nicely, from one of my favorite authors, Douglas Adams, British writer (1952 - 2001): I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be.
Today will be a shorter day at the work place, so this afternoon/evening I should get some good time in with Matthew. I feel a round of rough-housing coming on...
Please, rest assured that I am not feeling guilty over doing what I have to do to provide for my child, and raise him up to be the best he can be. He really is a wonderful little boy, my pride and joy. He is smart, funny, quick, well spoken, and loves a good round of rough-housing. As I stated to a friend on the phone last night... I just thought it might be time to show the other side of the looking glass. So many of the posts are about the cute things he does and says. And the compliments I receive from others who interact with him in public settings are wonderful. But since I really did want to put my view of things out here, and how that view is affected by Matthew, I thought it would be interesting to share some of the "darker" side in the whole parenting gig.
Now, what really made me laugh was a couple of the quotes that showed up today on my customized Google home page. Timing is such a funny thing sometimes. It really did hit my funny-bone, if you will, to see these quotes, in this order, on this day. It follows up on the thoughts of yesterday as if it were meant to be. Please, allow me to share. (Okay, you really have no choice in the matter of my sharing... other than to stop reading now.)
Few things are more satisfying than seeing your own children have teenagers of their own. - Doug Larson (Check out this site - because there is not a definitive answer to WHO this guy really is.)
You must first have a lot of patience to learn to have patience. - Stanislaw J. Lec, Polish writer (1909 - 1966)
And this last one was not found with the other quotes on my Google home page, but which fits the situation, and wraps things up very nicely, from one of my favorite authors, Douglas Adams, British writer (1952 - 2001): I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be.
Today will be a shorter day at the work place, so this afternoon/evening I should get some good time in with Matthew. I feel a round of rough-housing coming on...
12 January, 2008
Happy New Year!
SUCCESS!!! My 2007 Christmas Cards were sent in the mail before the end of 2007. Granted - it wasn't with much room to spare... (If you got one, you may have noticed the postmark was 12/31/07.) Matthew didn't really sign anything this year. Now that he really does know how to do things like write his name, it is no longer fun to perform on command. (Go figure!)
New Year's Eve: Well - it almost happened again! I almost slept through New Year's. Matthew and I had the good fortune of spending the two-day holiday with friends, rather than home alone, so my dear friend did wake me up in time to see the ball drop. (Actually, she woke me up figuring if I was going to sleep it might as well be in a bed, rather than on the couch, but it was still before midnight - so I did see the ball drop.) And I even got a message on my phone from another friend many states away saying Happy New Year! Not too shabby all in all.
Matthew and I returned to our regularly scheduled programing on January 2nd. (The day I went back to work.) I think the past couple of weeks have been trying, to say the least about them. Why are 5-year-olds so good at making you doubt your abilities?? Anyone out there have a clue to solving this riddle?
Case in point... Where he sleeps, where he eats, and who he spends time with are all of the utmost importance to him right now. And as long as none of the answers to those things involves mama - then he is fine. During the holiday break from work, every other night - if not every night - I was told "Mama, I don't want to sleep here, I want to sleep at Grandpa and Grandma's. I like sleeping there." Well - at first I attributed it to missing the routine. But we got back to routine - and the requests continued. (Right now he must be a really happy camper - I am on an opening schedule for work through the 19th... so he will have spent 10 nights in a row at Mom and Dad's house. Keep us in your thoughts that all goes well when he has to return home!)
Or... "Mama, I don't want to eat at home, I want to eat at Grandpa & Grandma's. " So I asked why that was - because I make good meals at home. I was told "I don't like your meals, Mama, they aren't good. I like Grandpa and Grandma's meals." Now seriously folks - I CAN cook. I do quite regularly. Okay - it might not be something fancy like rack of lamb with some sort of sauce, or roasted duck, or anything like that... but I can cook several fabulous chicken dishes, I make a great meatloaf... my pizza is good, Mac & Cheese is what it is... steamed veggies, fruits, all in all I can put together a well balanced meal that is tasty AND healthy. But no, this will not do for my five year old! He just likes the food at Grandpa and Grandma's house better.
And the final insult... last night, driving into Kroger's. I figured, to save some time in the kitchen, I would pick up something quick to fix for our dinner. Since the child does have to eat the food, I will give him options for meals. Matthew, would you like Dinner A or Dinner B tonight? Usually he picks one or the other, and then we struggle to actually consume the meal, rather than play at the table. (Falderal for another post, I suppose.) Last night... "Matthew, would you like me to pick up a pizza to cook in our oven for dinner tonight, or do you want some of the chicken strips I made the other night?" The response I get??? "Oh, I want pizza, but not from Kroger's. I want to go to Tim & Becky's to play with Daniel, and then eat pizza at their house. You can just leave me with them while you go do some work. Okay, Mama?"
?????????????????
You know, a lesser person would get a complex from all of this loving attention from their child. Okay - maybe I am a lesser person. I do have a complex. My mom, God bless her, says this is normal. This is what children do. Yet at the same time, I have to wonder... is this something that has been caused by my parenting style? I've had people say (in what I thought was a joking manner) they were glad I'm not their mom. Is it because I am strict? Is it because while I enjoy having a rocking fun, jolly good time with my child, there is a time for play and a time for work, and I want my child to realize that? Is it because I believe the best parenting style is what is now referred to as "old-school?" Really - I do care about my child's emotional development and feelings, which seems to be all the rage these days in parenting style. I do!! But, a person's actions have consequences, and he needs to know that. You don't always win, you don't always get exactly what you want - when you want it, you don't always have things happen the way you think they should happen.
What type of a mother would I really be, if I let Matthew grow up believing that he is the be all, end all... he will always win, he will always have what he wants, he can always do whatever he wants to do? Okay - so maybe that sounds harsh... I don't tell my child that he is nothing, or that he is a loser or anything like that. I encourage the good behavior and frown upon the bad. (Or do more than frown depending upon the situation.) I am trying to teach him to work hard, stand up for what is right, don't do what is wrong, to apply yourself to the best of your abilities - and in the end you will be successful and happy - according to your own standards, not those of the infamous "they." Seems like a lofty goal to accomplish... but my parents were able to do so with me... so I figure I have their example to work from.
Here is hoping that 2008 has given all of you a wonderful start to a year that will bring many happy returns to you month after month. I'll be working a few more weekend days this month, so you might see another post or two. Maybe I'll be able to report that Matthew and I have reached an understanding and it really is okay to do things with Mama!
New Year's Eve: Well - it almost happened again! I almost slept through New Year's. Matthew and I had the good fortune of spending the two-day holiday with friends, rather than home alone, so my dear friend did wake me up in time to see the ball drop. (Actually, she woke me up figuring if I was going to sleep it might as well be in a bed, rather than on the couch, but it was still before midnight - so I did see the ball drop.) And I even got a message on my phone from another friend many states away saying Happy New Year! Not too shabby all in all.
Matthew and I returned to our regularly scheduled programing on January 2nd. (The day I went back to work.) I think the past couple of weeks have been trying, to say the least about them. Why are 5-year-olds so good at making you doubt your abilities?? Anyone out there have a clue to solving this riddle?
Case in point... Where he sleeps, where he eats, and who he spends time with are all of the utmost importance to him right now. And as long as none of the answers to those things involves mama - then he is fine. During the holiday break from work, every other night - if not every night - I was told "Mama, I don't want to sleep here, I want to sleep at Grandpa and Grandma's. I like sleeping there." Well - at first I attributed it to missing the routine. But we got back to routine - and the requests continued. (Right now he must be a really happy camper - I am on an opening schedule for work through the 19th... so he will have spent 10 nights in a row at Mom and Dad's house. Keep us in your thoughts that all goes well when he has to return home!)
Or... "Mama, I don't want to eat at home, I want to eat at Grandpa & Grandma's. " So I asked why that was - because I make good meals at home. I was told "I don't like your meals, Mama, they aren't good. I like Grandpa and Grandma's meals." Now seriously folks - I CAN cook. I do quite regularly. Okay - it might not be something fancy like rack of lamb with some sort of sauce, or roasted duck, or anything like that... but I can cook several fabulous chicken dishes, I make a great meatloaf... my pizza is good, Mac & Cheese is what it is... steamed veggies, fruits, all in all I can put together a well balanced meal that is tasty AND healthy. But no, this will not do for my five year old! He just likes the food at Grandpa and Grandma's house better.
And the final insult... last night, driving into Kroger's. I figured, to save some time in the kitchen, I would pick up something quick to fix for our dinner. Since the child does have to eat the food, I will give him options for meals. Matthew, would you like Dinner A or Dinner B tonight? Usually he picks one or the other, and then we struggle to actually consume the meal, rather than play at the table. (Falderal for another post, I suppose.) Last night... "Matthew, would you like me to pick up a pizza to cook in our oven for dinner tonight, or do you want some of the chicken strips I made the other night?" The response I get??? "Oh, I want pizza, but not from Kroger's. I want to go to Tim & Becky's to play with Daniel, and then eat pizza at their house. You can just leave me with them while you go do some work. Okay, Mama?"
?????????????????
You know, a lesser person would get a complex from all of this loving attention from their child. Okay - maybe I am a lesser person. I do have a complex. My mom, God bless her, says this is normal. This is what children do. Yet at the same time, I have to wonder... is this something that has been caused by my parenting style? I've had people say (in what I thought was a joking manner) they were glad I'm not their mom. Is it because I am strict? Is it because while I enjoy having a rocking fun, jolly good time with my child, there is a time for play and a time for work, and I want my child to realize that? Is it because I believe the best parenting style is what is now referred to as "old-school?" Really - I do care about my child's emotional development and feelings, which seems to be all the rage these days in parenting style. I do!! But, a person's actions have consequences, and he needs to know that. You don't always win, you don't always get exactly what you want - when you want it, you don't always have things happen the way you think they should happen.
What type of a mother would I really be, if I let Matthew grow up believing that he is the be all, end all... he will always win, he will always have what he wants, he can always do whatever he wants to do? Okay - so maybe that sounds harsh... I don't tell my child that he is nothing, or that he is a loser or anything like that. I encourage the good behavior and frown upon the bad. (Or do more than frown depending upon the situation.) I am trying to teach him to work hard, stand up for what is right, don't do what is wrong, to apply yourself to the best of your abilities - and in the end you will be successful and happy - according to your own standards, not those of the infamous "they." Seems like a lofty goal to accomplish... but my parents were able to do so with me... so I figure I have their example to work from.
Here is hoping that 2008 has given all of you a wonderful start to a year that will bring many happy returns to you month after month. I'll be working a few more weekend days this month, so you might see another post or two. Maybe I'll be able to report that Matthew and I have reached an understanding and it really is okay to do things with Mama!
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