On Sept 26 - We had to say Goodbye

Letting go is hard to do. Of anything… once we have a hold of something in our life, we want to keep it there forever.

I have been blessed with two of the best grandmas a girl could ever ask for, and now I am learning how to let go of one. She taught me life lessons without me even realizing it at the time… how to work, how to laugh, how to love, how to live life to the fullest, how to bring joy and happiness to those around us.

How to persevere in the face of distress, how to keep up the fight, what it really means to be strong.

Some of the things that I will hold closest to my heart about her…
How her smile would light up a room
Watching her pleasure in spending time with the family and soaking in the joy that she radiated when she was with Alex or Matthew
Listening to her talk of the times she and grandpa would spend with friends – dancing, playing cards, or just bumming around and stopping in to visit
My memories from childhood of helping her to make apple sauce, or homemade loaves of bread, or potato salad

Over the past couple of days I have told some of you about how much I admire my grandma, her strength of character, her grace under fire, her loving nature… and how I hope, that in the end, once I have finally finished growing up, that I will be half as great as this lady has been.

I love you grandma, and I will miss you dearly.

Conquering Fears

Last year, Matthew was all set to charge the world... with me by his side. Or maybe that should be phrased as... with him stuck to my side. Riding a bike (well - three-wheeler last year), swimming - pool/lake/water park, or going for long walks... all of these were done with me right there. He was like a leach in the pool, he loves slides - but not the ones we saw at the water park, he likes going on bike rides - but needs me right behind him, and walks are great - when they are experienced from the piggy-back location!

Well, this year is a whole new ball game! He started the spring learning to ride a two-wheel bike with some assistance from a set of training wheels. He did great on the straight-aways, but then would over-balance and fall at every curve. We worked on that, I would go right along next to him and help him balance through the turn, so he could feel what it was he needed to do, and not fall off. The rides in town continued to get better and easier. His face would light up and his voice ring out - "I did it, Mama! I turned and didn't fall off!!" Then - disaster - the training wheel on one side was wearing thin. Try as I might, I just couldn't get my boy to sit straight on the bike. So one of the wheels wore out very fast. The bike (when viewed from behind) leaned like this \ and my boy sitting on it leaned like this /. I am still not sure HOW he managed to work the bike at all, but he did. So, ultimately, the training wheels had to come off. Then the real work began. My dad did all of it, really, and now... TA DA! Matthew is riding a two-wheel bike, all on his own, able to turn corners and not fall off (at least not fall off every time). He goes up and down gravel roads, around the driveway, house, yard, and sometimes even a nice paved sidewalk or two.

Swimming - oh I love pool time, and while Matthew has always enjoyed a bath, swimming pools and water parks were a whole different ball game. This year - he has learned that water in his face is okay. I think it might have something to do with he will take showers now - and not freak out when water falls on his head or into his face. So water parks with their slides and swimming pools are much more fun. The other day he even JUMPED into a pool! The whole time we were at our friends' house he came up to me only two or three times. And that was to brag about something he had done, or just give me a good squeeze hug. I was so proud of my "little" guy.

And those long walks I talked about? Yeah - last year he would want to go on a walk - but only if I carried him piggy-back style. This year - he will walk further, or ride his bike while I walk/run behind him.

We don't have a lot of toys for outside play - but we sure are making the best with what we have! This year he runs around the yard while I run the mower. He uses a big stick to whack down weeds and tall grasses around the trees. He pretends to be a pirate or Indiana Jones. When I am done with the yard, he takes me for a spin on the mower. Or - I will run the mower at top speed and do crazy circles around the yard. He really likes when he has to duck - and avoid those low hanging tree branches.

The summer is flying by for us, and we hope that all of you are having as much fun as we are.

And I now have a young man

Yes, folks!!! My little guy is no longer allowed to be called little. He chews gum. Actually chews it... doesn't swallow it, spit it out immediately, or just play games. (Yes, I realize he is playing in this picture... but this is not what he normally does.)

Just a few days ago, I bought him his first pack of bubble gum, grape flavored of course. He loves it! And today, while we were on our drive to start our 4th of July festivities, he got my attention to show me this.

I was creative enough (thanks to having a digital camera) to snap a picture while driving. Nice not having to actually see what you are doing and get a good shot.

We are heading out now for dinner and fireworks in Lansing tonight. Happy 4th, everyone!

It is Officially Summer!

Woo-hoo!! So far this year I have found plenty of time to be outside since the weather turned nice. I have a great tan going on, although, it does happen to be of the "farmer's" variety. Need to find some time to sit out at home and color the middle of me before I hit the public in a bikini! Right now the sun reflecting off my middle could blind someone.

Matthew is learning how to ride a bike without training wheels. So far, all of that work has been done with Grandpa, instead of me... I think we might try tomorrow if the weather is good. All of the time out in the sun, and round about has kept my picture taking down to very little (alright - almost none).

We have spent the last 4 weekends visiting with my "sister" and her family. This weekend we are home. Well... Matthew is at my parents', and I am once again on tech watch at work. Last weekend I officially became a godmother... and somehow, picked up an ex-godhusband in the deal. (That would be my godson's godfather.... are you following the logic here?? No??? Hrmm... maybe you need some vodka and cranberry juice, it made perfect sense at the time.)

A couple weeks ago, when it was REALLY hot, I bought a new window air conditioner, and last week Dad installed it for me. Since that time the weather has been great, but not overly hot. So I haven't had to turn it on yet. This "dilemma" is nearly torture for Matthew. He is just itching for us to use the air conditioner. I personally believe this is because it has a remote control - and what little tyke can resist the pull of that?!?!?!

It seems like we have been really busy - and in some ways we have. Lots of travel has taken place in May and the start of June. Things at home are going good. I rearranged the living room furniture so nothing would be in front of the air conditioner, and now I have some major "straightening" to do. I'm amazed at how much clutter has accumulated in the past few months. At the beginning of the year things looked great, and now the clutter is back. I think that will be worked on over the next two or three weeks. With the holiday coming up, our work schedule is quiet, and I am going to take advantage of it to tidy up at home!

So I have just three pictures to share this time... My "gift" for Mother's Day - in which I get about 2 minutes of solitude before Matthew wants to join me... and I swear the boy has ants in his pants. I believe the concept of a hammock is more than a five year old little boy's brain can handle. The second picture is one that I found when browsing through old photos - and can't believe I haven't shared it before now. When in Colorado a couple years ago, we visited Boulder - and they had all kinds of activities going on in the main part of town - one of which was a balloon maker. Matthew got a mask and two swords. He promptly popped the first sword (okay - maybe it was 15 minutes before he popped it) but the second sword and the mask lasted through the next couple days. The picture is of him back at the apartment showing off his stuff. Final picture is my "sister's" two boys. The older one just cracks me up, and the baby is my godson.



I hope that everyone is enjoying the season as much as we are. I will probably not post now for another month... but then again, one never knows.

'til next time ~

How far I've come...

A moment of bragging. I think I have earned the right to do so now that it is four dress sizes and several pounds later.


June 2007 (Thanks to my friend Ren for letting me use this pic!)

















December 2007































April 2008
























I am now happy to report that I've kept the same weight for several weeks. I'm really enjoying the new lease I feel I have, and all the extra energy. It means I can do a better job keeping up with Matthew! ;-)

The Ides of May

Have come and gone. We are now more than 1/2 way through the fifth month of 2008. Work has been work... schedules are crazy, as always. I haven't seen Matthew since Tuesday night. In about 40 minutes I will be done working for the day, and leave to pick him up.

So... you would think all of this "free time" would have been creatively filled. Sadly, while I have kept myself occupied, it hasn't been creatively. Hours away from the house... most of it near the office. But on the bright side, some of it not.

I did manage to keep doing my workouts, and squeeze in a couple visits here and there. I remember looking at the start of these days and wondering how I was going to fill the time. As it turns out, it was filled with a happy hour that lasted for 3, a visit with a cousin, a night of karaoke (bad choice - not enough sleep that night!), and a night of sleep.

Highlights... laughing 'til I was ready to cry, shopping for cake decorations - who knew there were so many choices dealing with fish?!?!?, descriptions using the word "remarkable," and getting comments about my smile, ie: it is indecent that you can be smiling at this time of day (a couple times in the morning and a couple times at night - it was a LONG day). I think maybe I smile too much - anyone out there caring to share their opinion on that topic should feel free to do so.

And that is all the more that my tired brain is willing to compose today. Hope everyone is enjoying Spring... I'll make sure to keep you posted about what Matthew and I do this Summer.

Until next time ~

Oh Happy Day!

So, this morning has been a nice quiet morning. Easy breakfast, enjoying coffee and a book. Sitting on the couch relaxed while my little one eats his Cookie Crisps cereal and watches Loony Toons.

Happy heart... he moves to the couch and cuddles up right next to me. He lets me hug and kiss on him, cause honestly, I have missed him the last couple days, and just needed to have my arms full of my little boy. (Lots of time at the office - not much at home.)

And it hits me... he is growing up so fast, and he still wants to be near his mama. Ahh... smiling!

The things we do...

This we saw on the way to my parents house to pick up Matthew's things. He was finally going to be staying back at our house for a night or two, before the work schedule got really strange. Since it was a Friday afternoon - and I was not in a rush - we took time to stop along the road, roll down the windows, and watch it for a few minutes. Matthew did a call out the window... hoping it would come closer to us. He sounded like the call of the "bird-in-deep-doo-doo" for those of you who remember that in the movie "Robots." I laughed, and wished I had my video camera with me to capture what he was doing.









For the past few days I have been working an afternoon shift (3-11pm). So Matthew and I have been spending the mornings and early afternoons together... muddling our way through various tasks. The lawn was picked up, trash was taken out to the road, Dad helped us get the lawn tractor ready, and we mowed the yard. We even got our clotheslines up! (Just in time to not use them because rain has moved into the neighborhood. Which is okay - because I need to find some line props anyway to keep them from sagging with all of our laundry hanging on them.)



Here, he is helping with the assembly of his bookshelf. We had been using some nice, sturdy boxes to hold all of his books in his bedroom... but as always happens to boxes over time, they started to breakdown from all the books being taken out, and put away again.















We started with him putting the connecting screws into the hidden catches (or whatever they called the plastic round things you stuck into the shelf bottoms) and then placing them on the shelves. I banged those into place, and put the outside of the case together. Finally - with him holding the tape measure so each nail could be 6" apart - I started the nails for the backing.














He got to finish driving the nails into place. He did a very good job... I just made sure I was far enough away that if he missed, he didn't hit me with the hammer. (I happen to like me knees, and don't feel they need to be altered with a blow from a misplaced hammer shot!)






Outside of these activities... we have spent much time outside enjoying the nice weather. I have even started to show a little bit of a tan! Can you believe that??? This next week I am changing work schedules again - and will be opening. It means that Matthew will be sleeping each night at my parents house... be we get to spend the late afternoon and early evenings together. So, I am hoping that the weather clears up by Monday, and we get to keep spending time outside. Now that the area around the house is completely cleaned... he is enjoying riding his tricycle on the extra bit of pavement we have reclaimed from the land of junk!

Ahh... it feels good to be productive, and do something with Matthew that will hopefully stick in his memory banks for a while. He has a new line for guilt-tripping me. (Which, fortunately, hasn't worked yet.) "Mother," he says, "you never let me do anything fun that I want to do!" Yes, you read that correctly... he calls me Mother now!!! Okay - only sometimes - usually it is still Mama. Thank goodness! Even if I did make him look "too old" with his new haircut, he is still my little "big" guy... and I'm not ready to let go of being called Mama just yet.

Maybe... if you see us out and about... you can ask him about what fun things he has done lately. I am sure that my letting him use the hammer will rank right up there with tractor rides from his grandpa!

The times... they are a-changin'

Well - it has been awhile since my last post... that is for sure. Good news is, I have some new pictures. They are inserted below.

The first quarter of 2008 is now gone and I'm not sure where it went. We have been busy this month, too. So I'm guessing second quarter is going to go just as fast.

Last week Matthew went to kindergarten round-up. He did well on the test, and is willing to consider a new school because they do have a "play-place." At first he was refusing to go because he liked his school now (which he only goes to every so often). And of course he didn't want to grow up and go to a new school.

Last weekend we went to the circus with friends. I say it is more fun when you are a kid to watch what happens... but I did enjoy watching the kids watch the circus. The mesmerized looks on their faces is something that is rarely seen. I've not known Matthew to sit still for so long since we saw the movie Ratatouille in the theater.

Just a few days ago I took my first vacation since having Matthew 5+ years ago. Ahh... still relaxed from it all. It was nice to get away. And the weather has been very nice - so I was able to get some early Spring-time sun, too!

I think that is all the more my brain is willing to dump today. Here are the pictures that I promised...
Matthew made me a castle with nice monsters to keep me safe from any bad monsters that might want to attack.






Here he is working with left over pie dough from the Blueberry Pie I made for Dad's birthday (yes - his birthday was months ago... but he wasn't ready for the pie until a week and a half ago)






This is his new haircut (just done last night - courtesy of Dad)!!

And on the day after Easter...

I am sitting in my living room - randomly checking emails even though I am taking a day off from work. So far today I have been decently productive... two loads of laundry completed, child delivered to and then picked up from preschool, dishwasher cleared of clean dishes and loaded up with dirty ones, letters to fellow committee members put in the mail, lunch consumed, and a snack devoured (his... not mine... I'm off sweets for a while now after yesterday's feasts).

So what to do now??? Wait for the chocolate rush to go through his system so we can appear in public and not disgrace ourselves. That's why I'm sitting here and telling the world about my absolutely enthralling day so far...

The Easter Bunny made an appearance and Matthew was very excited about his treats. The Hot Wheels chocolate bunny was a huge success, and that is what I am currently waiting to run its course as he settles down to a normal 5-year-olds antics, rather than a souped up one's antics. The Curious George puzzles were also great... and the glow in the dark dinosaurs??? Tops - couldn't have been more excited. Guess the Easter Bunny finally got it right this year. Maybe it helps that he started preparing for our house earlier this year than he did last year.

Right... so I think I have a bathroom to clean now... or maybe I should get the Christmas Tree put away?? I finally unplugged the lights this morning... I needed to plug in the printer for those letters to fellow committee members I talked about earlier.

*** UPDATE AT 3:36PM ***
It is official... Christmas and Winter are over... the tree and all associated decorations littered around the living room have been taken down/packed away. (For at least the next 7.5-8 months, hehehe) So let's see... the next holiday that I would decorate for is... hmm... guess we will be decoration free for the next 7.5 to 8 months. Happy Spring, everybody!!

Do you remember the movie "Splash"???

Well... just in case you don't, here is a link where you can refresh your memory. The reason for the question goes back to last Sunday... Picture it with me, won't you? (I know you will laugh while reading...)

Full church sanctuary; Matthew, my mom and I sitting a couple rows off the front. (Dad is singing in the choir and sits with them at front of sanctuary.) We are there a few minutes before start of service and Matthew is entertaining himself by looking at the children's bulletin trying to solve a word puzzle. This proves tiresome, and he moves on to floor play. (A regular practice, which as long as he is quiet and doesn't disturb others, I'm fine with.)

The welcome is just beginning and suddenly I feel a soft touch running up and down my leg... ?!?!?! Yup - it would be my precious precocious five year old "feeling me up" to use a phrase. I brush his hand away and try to refocus. If I make a big deal out of it - he will keep it up - therefore the plan is to ignore it and hope he gets bored. (And at the same time - try not to laugh - because it is a light touch and kinda tickles!)

The welcome is over - and we stand up to sing the first hymn... and here is where the reference to "Splash" comes into the picture. I gave you the link for the memory jolt up above... but it doesn't mention the opening scene of the movie... you know, the one where John Candy's childhood character is dropping coins on the deck of the boat, and then "picking up" the coins - while really looking up the skirts/dresses of the ladies standing at the boat railing.

So are you still with me? Do you see where I am going with this?? Can you guess what it is that I will tell you next???

Too true, I'm in a skirt (rarely ever that I wear skirt/dress)... and while standing up to sing the hymn, Matthew has moved into the "picking up coins" position. Although, in the movie the little boy (who is 8 or 9 years old?) just looks... my devious one looks, and continues with the hand thing too. Well, how do you ignore that? I try to correct him, brush the hand away, tell him to move out from under me, stand up so you can see Grandpa, etc, etc, etc... I almost get the feeling he thinks it is a game.

Mom even tries to help out. "Matthew - come up here to sing with us." His response... he looks at her (still from the "picking up coins" position) with a funny little grin and the light of the devil in his eyes, never stopping his actions. Mom can't help laughing, but at least she turns to the side so Matthew won't see and be encouraged. Me... I'm stuck with the opening scene of "Splash" in my mind and can do nothing other than sit down - which means at least he isn't peeping any more.

I'm caught in that place now of needing to correct a behavior... because it isn't appropriate, but at the same time he is only five, and should he have known something like that is wrong? I prefer to think he was caught up in pondering the fact that his mom has legs... And so, am putting off the "looking up skirts/dresses" conversation to a few years down the road. I'm just not ready for that yet.

Just Because I Can

So... This entry is just because I can only do something like this once every 4 years... have the date of February 29 show up as a date I posted on!

Yes, I am a dork and I am fully aware of the fact. You don't have to tell me. My friend Sheri does on a regular basis. (Not just once every 4 years.) We hang out together often enough, she really knows me, and knows my true nature. Hence... I'm a dork and she never fails to remind me so. (Of course, I do the same for her. It is one of the reasons we are such great friends!)

Here is something else that is only done once every 4 years...

Okay... maybe a little more often than once every 4 years. (But only one person at a time... really, I almost tripped up my best friend trying to show us exercising on the treadmill at the same time. Kids... don't try this at home!)

Happy Leap Day, Everybody!!

Greetings from San Jose, CA!!

So I have been out of state for the past few days, and will return home in a few more days. While I have been working, and enjoying a bit of a social life in the evenings... Matthew has been with my parents.

This morning (in my West Coast mind-set) I had a wonderful surprise in my email from home. Dad sent me a few pictures of what Matthew has been doing while I am gone. I loved them! And determined that I would take a few minutes to share. So here you go... my little guy playing w/ Legos, showing off the house he built (with some help from Grandma), and picking out a song on the piano (just like his mama used to do when she was a little girl - before I actually got lessons and learned how to play for real). Enjoy!!





Edit (a few minutes after first posting): I almost forgot!!! Saturday morning, the day I left Michigan for sunnier and warmer climes, Matthew woke me up with this line... "It is daytime now mama, time for you to go far, far, away." Do you think he was looking forward to spending some time at Mom and Dad's house??? Such a cute-ie... but I got all kinds of love from him at the airport when he helped my mom drop me off!

Feeling Uninspired

You would think, since it has been a few weeks since I last posted, that I would have all kinds of stories to share, experiences to pass on, something...

Uhhh... hmmm... stalling.... the brain is starting to pull something from the memory banks...

Yeah, I got nuthin'.

It is just after 8am on a Saturday morning. (At least that is the time it is now. By the time I finish this little missive of mine, and actually post for your loving eyes, who knows what time it will be?!?!) I've been providing tech support at work since 6:30am. There is some absolutely tempting french toast in the dining room across the lobby which I am avoiding like the plague. (It is made of challa bread even, probably from Zingerman's... oh be still my rumbling stomach.)

*** Update*** 9:35am - gave into the temptation, french toast was delicious!!

Matthew is going to a birthday party this afternoon in the middle of the state, and since I am working, my friend Sheri is going to take him (party is for the daughter of a mutual friend of ours). She and her husband were in our neck of the woods yesterday, so they picked him up mid-morning and took them home with him. It left me feeling out of sync yesterday afternoon. There was no one to rush home and pick up. What did I do with myself before he came into my life???

So I ended up getting together with a friend and shopping. This friend is getting ready for a trip to Florida (oh - the thought of sunshine!!!) and wanted to pick up some things for the trip. I think she bought a pair of shoes for all the walking they'll be doing. I, on the other hand, picked up three new pairs of shoes (heaven help me... I'm turning into a girly-girl, I think!), a pair of capri pants (for a trip to sunny CA next week - where the day temps are in the mid-60's), and a white shell top to go under some new business suits I got last weekend. (Can you tell the tax refund money has come in??? I was able to pick up some much-needed items, and a treat or two, all without feeling too guilty - plus it was on sale - isn't that the motto we are supposed to use? Look how much I saved, right?!?!) And I did mention what my friend got, right? A pair of shoes?? I don't know, I just may be feeling a bit guilty over my purchases last night; but the shoes are so nice, and the pants are so cute... I think I'll recover. ;-)

I don't usually make resolutions at New Year's, but one of the thoughts I had as we started the year 2008 was that I needed to do a better job of taking pictures and videos. (Uhhh, the video thought has done nothing but be a thought.) I have managed to take some pictures. Last weekend I even managed to capture a couple of cute shots. They are at the last two pictures here. The bottom one is just precious; a nine year old, five year old, and one year old lined up and captured by the magic of Disney! (And my little boy still has cute feet!)

But the point is that I am not doing a good job with pictures. The first child (and in my case - ONLY - child) is supposed to have all kinds of pictures around, documenting everything in their lives. HA!!! My poor kid... almost nothing printed out at the house... no baby book entries recording first this/first that, etc... It is almost more as though he is a second or third child, rather than a first. But at least he can check out this site when he gets older. (Or maybe, just maybe, I'll actually print things out one day, and put them into an album!)

Here is a guide to the pictures: (If I knew how to work this free site better - I'd put the descriptions by the pictures. I don't, however, so you are stuck with this. I think I prefer this to the slideshow, though. Your thoughts?? Let me know by email or leaving a comment below.)
top - Matthew playing with Wikki Stix; These are great for keeping hands/minds occupied... we ot his at a restaurant in T.C. this past summer.
next - Getting exercise with his ball, or just goofing around with the ball in the living room. I can't remember which one it was at the time when I took this picture.
third - Lambie dressed up in an outfit from BABW (there is a store not too far from where we live)
fourth - his dog, Lucky, dressed up in another outfit from BABW (he used some of his Christmas gift money to get these outfits).
fifth & sixth - this may put me into the gluttonous mother category, I'm not sure... He is eating Mac & Cheese, from the pan. If I make it for dinner (along with something else, veggies, protein source, etc) and he eats everything I give him for dinner, he is allowed to have a second helping of Mac & Cheese... straight from the pan.
next to last - cuddle time with Sami, sharing the couch and blanket, and NOT fighting over who gets the remote.
last - yeah, I already explained this one earlier in the posting.



Here it is, now 10:22am, and I am still feeling like there is something I should be sharing, and just can't remember what it is. Maybe another cup of coffee is in order.

I suppose I can brag a little... after all, it is my site... I get to decide what shows up here and what doesn't! In a posting back in December, I talked about getting my act together and how I was getting myself into shape. I am glad to announce that after 3 months of hard work, I have dropped almost 20 pounds, and three sizes!!! (Do you hear the trumpets sounding??) I suppose if I were better about pictures, I might have a before and after picture that I could post... but I'm not, so I don't. The good news outside of this... I have been doing this long enough now that it is not a chore to keep up. Just a few more pounds to go, and then it will be time to switch to a maintenance plan. (Does that make me sound like a car??)

Okay - enough rambling for today. I am going to get this posted, and then send out the announcement to the world (or at least my little corner of it) that something new is out for you all to see! Take care, and I'll post more after my trip to sunny CA!!

You need to get married, mama!

Just a quick post for now...

But those are the words my lovely little boy shared with me this morning. He was asking me if he could get married and move away some day. I had said yes, when you are an adult, you can find a nice girl that you want to spend the rest of your life with, and get married and move away.

His response??? Okay, mama, but you have to get married too. Because if I move away you will be all alone.

HONESTLY!!!! Where in the world does a five year old come up with these thoughts???? For now, I am going to lay the blame at the feet of my dad. Although, Matthew says his heart tells him these things.

I say his heart needs to tell him that his mama is very happy with the state of her life (finally!), and it would be perfect should he decide to actually listen/follow directions when I am talking to him. I won't hold my breath for perfection. ;-)

Catch you all later...

Quote(s) of the Day

Wow, but I find it amazing how quickly some folks have responded to my last posting. And all with words of encouragement. I love you guys!

Please, rest assured that I am not feeling guilty over doing what I have to do to provide for my child, and raise him up to be the best he can be. He really is a wonderful little boy, my pride and joy. He is smart, funny, quick, well spoken, and loves a good round of rough-housing. As I stated to a friend on the phone last night... I just thought it might be time to show the other side of the looking glass. So many of the posts are about the cute things he does and says. And the compliments I receive from others who interact with him in public settings are wonderful. But since I really did want to put my view of things out here, and how that view is affected by Matthew, I thought it would be interesting to share some of the "darker" side in the whole parenting gig.

Now, what really made me laugh was a couple of the quotes that showed up today on my customized Google home page. Timing is such a funny thing sometimes. It really did hit my funny-bone, if you will, to see these quotes, in this order, on this day. It follows up on the thoughts of yesterday as if it were meant to be. Please, allow me to share. (Okay, you really have no choice in the matter of my sharing... other than to stop reading now.)

Few things are more satisfying than seeing your own children have teenagers of their own. - Doug Larson (Check out this site - because there is not a definitive answer to WHO this guy really is.)

You must first have a lot of patience to learn to have patience. - Stanislaw J. Lec, Polish writer (1909 - 1966)

And this last one was not found with the other quotes on my Google home page, but which fits the situation, and wraps things up very nicely, from one of my favorite authors, Douglas Adams, British writer (1952 - 2001): I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be.

Today will be a shorter day at the work place, so this afternoon/evening I should get some good time in with Matthew. I feel a round of rough-housing coming on...

Happy New Year!

SUCCESS!!! My 2007 Christmas Cards were sent in the mail before the end of 2007. Granted - it wasn't with much room to spare... (If you got one, you may have noticed the postmark was 12/31/07.) Matthew didn't really sign anything this year. Now that he really does know how to do things like write his name, it is no longer fun to perform on command. (Go figure!)

New Year's Eve: Well - it almost happened again! I almost slept through New Year's. Matthew and I had the good fortune of spending the two-day holiday with friends, rather than home alone, so my dear friend did wake me up in time to see the ball drop. (Actually, she woke me up figuring if I was going to sleep it might as well be in a bed, rather than on the couch, but it was still before midnight - so I did see the ball drop.) And I even got a message on my phone from another friend many states away saying Happy New Year! Not too shabby all in all.

Matthew and I returned to our regularly scheduled programing on January 2nd. (The day I went back to work.) I think the past couple of weeks have been trying, to say the least about them. Why are 5-year-olds so good at making you doubt your abilities?? Anyone out there have a clue to solving this riddle?

Case in point... Where he sleeps, where he eats, and who he spends time with are all of the utmost importance to him right now. And as long as none of the answers to those things involves mama - then he is fine. During the holiday break from work, every other night - if not every night - I was told "Mama, I don't want to sleep here, I want to sleep at Grandpa and Grandma's. I like sleeping there." Well - at first I attributed it to missing the routine. But we got back to routine - and the requests continued. (Right now he must be a really happy camper - I am on an opening schedule for work through the 19th... so he will have spent 10 nights in a row at Mom and Dad's house. Keep us in your thoughts that all goes well when he has to return home!)

Or... "Mama, I don't want to eat at home, I want to eat at Grandpa & Grandma's. " So I asked why that was - because I make good meals at home. I was told "I don't like your meals, Mama, they aren't good. I like Grandpa and Grandma's meals." Now seriously folks - I CAN cook. I do quite regularly. Okay - it might not be something fancy like rack of lamb with some sort of sauce, or roasted duck, or anything like that... but I can cook several fabulous chicken dishes, I make a great meatloaf... my pizza is good, Mac & Cheese is what it is... steamed veggies, fruits, all in all I can put together a well balanced meal that is tasty AND healthy. But no, this will not do for my five year old! He just likes the food at Grandpa and Grandma's house better.

And the final insult... last night, driving into Kroger's. I figured, to save some time in the kitchen, I would pick up something quick to fix for our dinner. Since the child does have to eat the food, I will give him options for meals. Matthew, would you like Dinner A or Dinner B tonight? Usually he picks one or the other, and then we struggle to actually consume the meal, rather than play at the table. (Falderal for another post, I suppose.) Last night... "Matthew, would you like me to pick up a pizza to cook in our oven for dinner tonight, or do you want some of the chicken strips I made the other night?" The response I get??? "Oh, I want pizza, but not from Kroger's. I want to go to Tim & Becky's to play with Daniel, and then eat pizza at their house. You can just leave me with them while you go do some work. Okay, Mama?"

?????????????????

You know, a lesser person would get a complex from all of this loving attention from their child. Okay - maybe I am a lesser person. I do have a complex. My mom, God bless her, says this is normal. This is what children do. Yet at the same time, I have to wonder... is this something that has been caused by my parenting style? I've had people say (in what I thought was a joking manner) they were glad I'm not their mom. Is it because I am strict? Is it because while I enjoy having a rocking fun, jolly good time with my child, there is a time for play and a time for work, and I want my child to realize that? Is it because I believe the best parenting style is what is now referred to as "old-school?" Really - I do care about my child's emotional development and feelings, which seems to be all the rage these days in parenting style. I do!! But, a person's actions have consequences, and he needs to know that. You don't always win, you don't always get exactly what you want - when you want it, you don't always have things happen the way you think they should happen.

What type of a mother would I really be, if I let Matthew grow up believing that he is the be all, end all... he will always win, he will always have what he wants, he can always do whatever he wants to do? Okay - so maybe that sounds harsh... I don't tell my child that he is nothing, or that he is a loser or anything like that. I encourage the good behavior and frown upon the bad. (Or do more than frown depending upon the situation.) I am trying to teach him to work hard, stand up for what is right, don't do what is wrong, to apply yourself to the best of your abilities - and in the end you will be successful and happy - according to your own standards, not those of the infamous "they." Seems like a lofty goal to accomplish... but my parents were able to do so with me... so I figure I have their example to work from.

Here is hoping that 2008 has given all of you a wonderful start to a year that will bring many happy returns to you month after month. I'll be working a few more weekend days this month, so you might see another post or two. Maybe I'll be able to report that Matthew and I have reached an understanding and it really is okay to do things with Mama!